Cabbage Patch Kids: The Clubhouse

Ooh there’s singing and a battle to make the better clubhouse. Barry seems to be a bit full of himself. Oh yes a toilet seat cover is sure to make an awesome window. Yes the tunes are catchy. It is just a good thing that no one saw me watching this since there might have been a little dancing. Oh well if someone somehow got a peek they would just think I was having a seizure since any dancing I do would look more like that then actual dancing. 

Mary Beth is one smart cookie since she took advantage of her connections to get some supplies to make the clubhouse and Norma Jean was making the plan. Of course Barry was an idiot since he seemed to think making a plan was a stupid idea. Okay dude go back to the junkyard to collect your junk. I just need to find a rich person’s junk since it is highly unlikely that it will be anywhere near the vicinity of actual junk. 

I could take my cart to a rich neighborhood and search the trash. Nope that wouldn’t look the least bit strange or sketchy. The sisters who might be twins whose names I don’t know weren’t ask to be part of the clubhouse battle. Well they can have fun on the trampoline. I bet I’d jump on the thing and fall off and land on my head since that’s a very me kind of thing to do. They have no idea that Vernon has a major crush on the girls. I guess he can’t pick just one but he needs to work on his daydreaming skills. He kind of reminds me of Joxer from Xena. 

Thanks to the bet I now want pizza and after my trip to Walmart voila I have pizza but not Walmart pizza because you can only get it after five or maybe four which is weird. If food is mentioned and it happens to be food I eat I usually feel like having some and rarely do I actually have the food that’s mentioned. The losers have to buy the winners pizza so the stakes are super high. The toilet set lid window turned out pretty good if you don’t think about where the thing was before you decided to use it in your clubhouse. The girls of course won and hello Norma’s song should be my theme song since I’m sure more than a few people think I’m crazy and she’s just so damn cute. 

Vernon got over his fear of heights and the dark and Barry was a gentlemen when he conceded defeat He admitted that the girls clubhouse was better although Mary Beth said she liked the boys clubhouse. Maybe she was lying. Instead of the girls getting pizza everyone got pizza except for me because I don’t have any pizza but I changed that because I got pizza that I’m having for lunch.  Vernon flips a coin so the gang can decide which house to eat in and the boys house is the winner. At least they won something. They ate their pizza and after they did a little singing and dancing because that’s what people do in clubhouses. Well the girls clubhouse might be more aesthetically pleasing but the boys clubhouse is sturdy since no one crashed through it. The one kid did figure out how to bang in the nails and still managed to salvage a few fingers so good on him.

My Little Pony: The Movie

Well that’s weird. During the singing opening part I spotted the same pony in two places at once. Is someone doing magic? Not sure which one she is. I was able to find this on Hoopla just by random chance so I thought it is Saturday so why the hell not. It is too hot to think so this is one way to try to forget about the heat.

Oh Spike how you’ve changed through the years. Lickety-Split is such a little diva. Well aren’t you lucky ponies for having better weather than I am. I’m not a fan of the heat or the cold. Winter is over forever. I’m not so sure about that singing ones. It always comes back much like your period. It just won’t take a hint and go away.

Of course there is a bad guy in the movie and the lava lair totally gives that away. Let me guess you girls are sisters. Sounds like someone is jealous of the ponies. Oh girl you need a makeover stat. I’m guessing she’s Mom and those two lovelies are her daughters. I’ve never seen this before. She kind of reminds me of Gargamel a bit. A match made in hell but I’m sure that if they teamed up even then they would get the smurfs or the ponies for who knows what reason. I know another reason they wanted to steal the ponies magic.

Uh oh no you didn’t. No you didn’t. Oh yes you did. You called her mama. Hidea? Well that’s appropriate. Poor thing. Things just as evil as they once were because of those pesky ponies that are sweet and colorful. I can be mean but I need to work on my evil. Why can’t you be mean like your aunt? Yes I’m sort of swaying along to the singing. Hey that’s not totally true since not all witches are evil unless you’re one of those wackos that see evil everywhere.

Well that was scary. It was like getting an accidental look in the morning after I just wake up when she walked up to the screen. Oh yes you need to ruin the festival. Do evil you silly nitwits. I wonder if they have snacks. I could do with a little something right about now. It is a movie so I should see what I have that’s snacky.

Hooray the baby pony dancers. They are rocking the leg warmers. Who doesn’t love leg warners? Oh girl you are so out of control but I love the outfit? You could totally say you meant to do that. I like the rainbow outfit but I’m not sure why she’s wearing a purse. That’s just silly. Well that’s mean you made the poor pony cry.  Yes Spike talk some words of wisdom to this pony. Oh sweetie you aren’t alone since you’re surrounded by a bunch of forest creatures. Uh oh she’s running away from home.

Enough with the rhyming. Any rhyming I do is strictly by accident. I’ll go it alone along with all the birds and woodland creatures that follow me along. Sometimes you just need to sing vent and get things off your chest. Oh sweetie you’re going to run into the sisters and get into trouble since that’s a common theme. Someone is out to get them and wackiness ensues. That was smart Spike to leave a note but when will the ponies find out.

Oh yes think dank and dreary. When in doubt check a dictionary. Wet? Yes girls make it rain. Can you make it rain here too? I could use some cooling down. Uh oh girl you need to cast a spell since splashing the water just won’t work in your quest to ruin the festival. Why isn’t the chubby sister doing the spelling?  She is quite bossy. Good job girls you’re covered in pies. Oh nice the volcano witches stink but at the same time they are cute. Well they did accomplish the messy part so that’s something. I guess that’s looking at the silver lining.

Lickety-Split you can’t fly. You don’t have wings. This girl isn’t too smart. She makes me feel like a genius. You’re just lucky there was water to land in so you didn’t end up a pony pancake. Ooh pancakes sound good and I do have chocolate chip pancakes. Oh yes Button you were a bit harsh but the girl is a bit extra. Oh Shady I can so relate to you and your bad luck. Yes the Bush Willies sounds like a fabulous place to go. Sounds dirty. Oh the woes of not living up to a parents expectations.

Whoa that bug had a lot of blood in it when Hidea smashed it. Oh no the Smooze. Wait that sounds oddly familiar. Have I seen the Smooze before? I know I haven’t seen this movie but I have seen another one. It is a little odd how the earlier incarnations had humans while the latest incarnation doesn’t. What in the world is floom? A bug? No idea. Oh I feel bad for these girls. Of course in typical pony fashion the villains turn out to not be so bad after all in the end. I’m sure this is no different. Time for another song. Oh don’t mention perspire. If you want to do some dirty work I know where you can go. The tall one is as graceful as I am.

I’m with you there Shady. It isn’t easy thinking positive especially when your name is Shady. I’m just glad I don’t have an itchy horn. I do have something else that’s itchy but thankfully the hand isn’t bugging me like it was last night. Uh oh I think that’s the Smooze. I think they might have turned up in an episode of My Little Pony Friendship Is Magic. Uh oh poor Pea Brain. I don’t know what her name is. Maybe floom is one of those optional ingredients like nuts are. She did end up calling the smooze but nope they aren’t the little creatures that are different colors. I’m not sure what they are. Bush Woolies? I could do with some cake myself.

Oh no the snacks. You’re gong to lose the snacks. Well at least the one pony had the sense to tell the Booze Woolies to hop on board. Oh no you’ve been smoozed. Can a shower fix that? Is there an ointment? Oh yes let’s go to Dream Castle. I want to live in a castle or Barbie’s dream house . Oh well I guess I’ll just have to get my own snacks because no one offered me anything. This pony is lucky to have Spike with her since she’d probably end up dead if she was alone. That is so me since I’d be asking about the smooze too. Is it a tasty snack?

Oh the helpful humans. How did Megan meet these ponies? Oh yes they need the rainbow of light. Rainbows are magical after all. I just love it when jewelry solves problems. I’m not so much a fan when it is used for evil. I love shiny things. Of course there’s more singing and it is weirdly catchy. Oh yes you’re going to lose against the smooze. Watch out the smooze is on the way. I have no idea what the words are so I’m just winging it. I think that might have been Fluttershy saving the bunny from the smooze. Yeah taste the rainbow bitches. Uh oh the rainbow has been rainbow napped.

Uh oh those poor girls. Oh the horrors of forcing them to eat ice cream. That’s just terrible. Ice cream is so yucky. Guess the girls have to get the floom. I am curious about this stuff. It turns out that smooze makes you grumpy when it gets dumped on you. So of course there’s more singing because that always makes everything better. Oh wait never mind. Chocolate helps. Oh the horrors of being allergic to it. Talk about a total nightmare to never be able to have chocolate. I could help a skunk stink. I could use some good luck and so could the sisters.

The floom is gross. Are those boobs? They kind of look like boobs or maybe donuts. Oh goody orange goop. Is that the floom part? A weird plant creature that gets pissed when stabbed. I can’t blame it after all no one likes being stabbed. Are those crab legs its eyes. It seems to be able to see even though they look like lobster legs. When in doubt bite and don’t drop the bottle. Ooh they did it. Oh wait I’m not supposed to root for the villains am I?

You’re right Mr Woodchipper everyone needs a home. They need a new rainbow of light. Or maybe a cloud of light. The pyramids would get a bit stuff with no windows. Yes the dude is singing. He’s a gnome or maybe a wizard. He’s just annoyed his game was interrupted so now he’s trying to scare them away by his incessant singing. Thank you bunny. Can I have one too Mr Woodchip? Moon Chip?

Listen to the bunny.

Flutter Valley? Is this where Fluttershy lives? If I had a pony I could buy that big ass house for $111 and move it to another location without the outrageous moving price of moving a home to a new location. Oh sure Spike you’re brave as heck. Did Spike and Lickety-Split end up in Flutter Valley. Nope they are Grendels. Well not so much good on Xena. Isn’t that name of the monster? Yes more singing because there can never be too much singing. I just love t hat orange hair and the purple eye shadow. It is so very lit. Just smack that pony already. Bitch is getting on my nerves.

Uh oh the smooze is meaner and badder than ever. But at least the ponies have a new pad. Wow that’s amazing. How in the hell did that work? Oh the power of magic that allows you to conjure a pink home out of a picture that includes a pool and room for a ballroom. Oh shut up you two annoying little siblings. You just want to ruin your big sisters fun. Be gone with you bitches. Be gone. Tell Hidea off. She can find other minions to foul up her plans. That sounded like a yes burp.

I see the downside and the upside of a Bush Woolie. Agreeing with everything isn’t always a good thing. You go Wind Whistler. Oh shut up you stupid little bitch. Molly will you just put a sock in it. Ooh the giant sunflower field. It is strange how the sunflowers survived the wind and hail but trees were ripped out of the ground like straws plucked from a cup. Oh no run the smooze is coming. The smooze is coming. Oh goodness gracious. You need a rainbow stat. Where’s Rainbow Dash? When in doubt ride the sunflower vine. Good thing ponies can fly because Megan’s goose would be cooked if it wasn’t for Wind Whistler. Uh smooze isn’t furry or I guess I should say woolie. Put a hoof in it Shady. It is quiet time for you.

Why can’t the Grendel just run by themselves. When it doubt use your tail to steer your log when you’re on the run from the dreaded smooze but watch out for that waterfall. They landed in a nice spot. I wonder if they’re in Grundelland. Grundel? No idea. I need a wishing well. Oh yes sing to the well because there’s always time for singing even though the smooze is out to get you. No pressure to worry about that so stop by all means to sing yet another song. Of course someone is in the wishing well. That makes perfect sense. Ooh I love this pony’s wings.

Ooh the pony that said too close might be Rarity. Oh shut up Danny. Why does Megan have obnoxious siblings? Is that the Everfree forest? You totally deserved that Danny for being such a little shit. Oh you’re totally lost. Oh thank you for giving the thumbs up on the whole panicking thing. It can be so hard to decide on whether or not to panic. Ooh the scary trees are out to get them. Why are they so angry? So much for you thinking you’re lucky because you’re a unicorn. All this running is making me tired. Ooh I think her cutie mark is a bunch of cupcakes. Maybe I’m just hungry.

You are one ugly bug. Oh no more running. Oh no more running because the ugly bug has a sweet tooth. Duh the web is clearly sticky so that’s out. Uh oh back to the cave. Maybe there’s another way out. Oh yes tickle the big ass spider to make it go away. That thing is so fugly. I’d say they were inspired by Xena but this is pre Xena. Oh gross Danny kissed her. Now Whistle Dancer is making me dizzy with all that  darting around. I think watching this movie qualifies as a workout. I want to live in Flutter Valley. Oh don’t even be a bitch. I bet they’re smarter than your stupid ass.

Time for an pep talk and I’m guessing another song because t here’s never too much singing when you’re a pony or friends with a pony. You better hurry Rosedust. You’re running out of time. I need to work on my evil laugh. Oh no they’ll need to get another home and they just replaced the last one. Oh sure getting on the roof will totally help.Maybe they can fly the house away after all it was flown there. Oh don’t even give LIckety-Split any credit. That bitch is getting on my nerves. Hoof slap her stat. You go Flutter ponies. Smooze be gone. Wow I was so expecting another song. There should be another song or two since there’s about ten minutes left in this movie.  Ooh the rainbow of light came back along with Dream Castle. Can I live in a castle? I want to live in a castle.  Oh that was sweet to give them the castle. Well I’m disappointed since I was hoping for one more song but nope it just went to the theme song.